One Night At CRIS(November 17, 2006)

:) HEllo to all.......
Thought to become a writer today.. inspired from chetan sahab, today got to opportunity to spend a night in cris during new exe release of our software, so much shaanti here without girls as u all know if girls r there u can't think else thinking about them.. either happy or sad but u always force to think about her.. ohhh god how she move, behave or whatever she do become the topic of gossip in our's group, but today it's tough time to watch hall empty with out them. Here v r for solving problem but there is none of them for us to spend this long night, what else v can do here.. why not they put girls in night also evry where in call center its happen so why not here.. v r also like call center job today yaaar.. so why v r missing those pretty call centers girls?? why not any cab comming from munirka filling all chinkans into that for us here to laugh, watch n break jokes.. it's so lonely night without any problems......... ok for spending time can i go to watch my own life from past.. no no no need to go so far yaar just behind 2 years, it's all about CRIS so only memory regards to CRIS is allow to remmember here, hey also i can overlook my whole life in few hours yaar( ha ha ha....).... Ok so lets Start with my first day in CRIS as a Assistant Software Engineer, i remmember the date.. its 06 Sep 2004.....................( One thing more if it hurts any one as i dont wanna do it in my knowledge.... plz forgive me, god knows i really love all.......)
Ok So with due respect to all..... start to write some lines including all nearer n dearer here....... I enter in Cris campus with lots of Excitement, Energy, Hope n vision for comming future.. FOIS is the group alloted to me after joining n i entered in a tiny room covering all old age furnitures(hey spell check is not allowed here so just read yaar.... i can't afford to have a proof reader 4 me here atleast in govt salary ......) with babaadam's time PC covering all dust to show us govt environment.. ok it's ok yaar, one by one v all 8 new joining from diffrent cities.. u can say all from diffrent directions..., there r few seniors, trainees n all for welcoming n guiding us, v all being very cool, shy n ready to learn all in few days.... but i was very excited to have delhi style or can say metro style life.... no tension just enjoy d life, moving here n there, time to time work n then enjoy n enjoy only. Got some new friends.... some hey just understand yaar.. here no need to disclose all n every thing... Ok...,
All day just pass in work n jokes as v all always ready to carck a joke on any body n any time, before us it's like a bore confrence always there, but v change d envi there, but with d time all were change as all develope there personality like govt employee.. so much politices, race to have more n more... come some more new ones, then some more.. n all were busy with their groups. not having anything to make common to all other then deptt. ...
"" Sorry yaar One Online Prob here so wait for Some time To proceed Furthere.....""

Up-to-date with technology trends

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.
She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt

21 Rules of Life

*1. Marry the right person . This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
*2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
*3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
*4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
*5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
*6. Be generous.
*7. Have a grateful heart.
*8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
*9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
*10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
*11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
*12. Commit yourself to quality.
*13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationship with people you love and respect.
*14. Be loyal.
*15. Be honest.
*16. Be a self-starter.
*17. Be decisive even it it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
*18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
*19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
*20. Take good care of those you love.
*21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

तेरी याद.............

मत पूछो आलम हमारे दिल की बे-बसी का

क़यामत की भीड़ है आस पास,दिल मैं मगर तन्हाई है

यूँ दिल के आँगन मे न उसकी याद की आहत हुई

जैसे दूर किसी वादी मे, बजती कोई शेहनाई है .

खा कर धोखा ख़ुद अपनी ही तक़दीर के हाथों हम

क्या इल्ज़ाम दे किसी को हम , हमारी किस्मत ही हरजाई है

तेरे लौट आने की राह ढेखना बन गई है मेरी आदत

ख़ुशी तो नही किस्मत मे हाँ मगर , ग़म से आशनाई है

ये भी नही की ख़ाब मे अगर तुझ को छू लूं

तू तो नही है आया पर याद तेरी ,हम से मिलने आई है.....!!

कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे..???

कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे?

मेरे लिए तुम कौन हो?, कैसे बताऊं?

कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे

तुम धड़कनों का गीत हो, जीवन का तुम संगीत हो

तुम ज़िंदगी तुम बंदगी, तुम रोशनी तुम ताज़गी

तुम हैर ख़ुशी तुम प्यार हो, तुम प्रीत हो मनमीत हो....!

आँखों में तुम यादों में तुम, साँसों में तुम आहों में तुम

नींदों में तुम ख्वाबों में तुम

तुम हो मेरी हर बात में, तुम हो मेरे दिन रात में

तुम सुबाह में तुम शाम में, तुम सोच में तुम काम में......!

मेरे लिए पाना भी तुम, मेरे लिए खोना भी तुम

मेरे लिए हासना भी तुम, मेरे लिए रोना भी तुम

और जागना सोना भी तुम जाऊं कहीं देखूं कहीं

तुम हो वहाँ तुम हो वहीं कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे?, तुम बीन तो मैं कुछ भी नहीं

कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे, मेरे लिए तुम कौन हो?

ये जो तुम्हारा रूप है ये ज़िंदगी की धूप है

चंदन से तराशा है बदन, बहती है जिस में एक अगन

ये शोखियाँ ये मस्तियाँ, तुमको हवाओं से मिली

ज़ूल्फें घटाओं से मिली होंठों में कालियाँ खिल गयी आँखों को झीले मिल गयी

चेहरे में सिमटी चाँदनी, आवाज़ में है रागिनी

शीशे के जैसा अंग है फूलों के जैसा रंग है

नदियों के जैसी चाल है क्या हुस्न है क्या हाल है

ये जिस्म की रंगीनियाँ जैसे हज़ारों तितलियाँ

बाहों की ये गोलाईयाँ, आँचल में ये पार्चछाइयाँ

ये नगरियाँ है ख्वाब की, कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे, हालत दिल-ए-बेताब की

कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे, मेरे लिए तुम कौन हो? कैसे बताऊं, कैसे बताऊं

कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे?

मेरे लिए तुम धरम हो, मेरे लिए ईमान हो

तुम ही इबादत हो मेरी, तुम ही तो चाहत हो मेरी

तुम ही मेरा अरमान हो ताकता हूँ मैं हर पल जिससे, तुम ही तो वो तस्वीर हो

तुम ही मेरी तक़दीर हो, तुम ही सीतारा हो मेरा तुम ही नज़ारा हो मेरा

यू ध्यान में मेरे हो तुम, जैसे मुझे घेरे हो तुम

पूरब में तुम पश्चिम में तुम, उतर में तुम दक्षिण में तुम

सारे मेरे जीवन में तुम, हर पल में तुम हर छिन में तुम

मेरे लिए रास्ता भी तुम, मेरे लिए मंज़िल भी तुम

मेरे लिए सागर भी तुम, मेरे लिए साहिल भी तुम

मैं देखता बस तुमको हो, मैं सोचता बस तुमको हूँ

मैं जानता बस तुमको हूँ, मैं मानता बस तुमको हूँ

तुम ही मेरी पहचान हो कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे देवी हो तुम मेरे लिए मेरे लिए भगवान

हो कैसे बताऊं मैं तुम्हे, मेरे लिए तुम कौन हो?

कैसे.............?

Programming quotes:------

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.--Bill Gates

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.--Dennis Ritchie

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from badjudgement.--Fred Brooks

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work. Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works. Programmerscombine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.-Steve McConnell Code Complete

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. -Gerald Weinberg

The Six Phases of a Project:
Enthusiasm
Disillusionment
Panic
Search for the Guilty
Punishment of the Innocent
Praise for non-participants

Good code is its own best documentation. As you're about to add a comment, ask yourself, 'How can I improve the code so that thiscomment isn't needed?' Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.--Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.--Bertrand Russell

No matter how slick(efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawlesspresentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination oftheir C programs.--Robert Firth

Fifty years of programming language research, and we end up with C++?--Richard A. O'Keefe

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must bethe process of putting them in.--Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time. --(Bertrand Meyer)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.--Alan J. Perlis

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.--Ralph Johnson

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other90% of the development time.--Tom Cargill

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.--Anon

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realizedthat a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent infinding mistakes in my own programs.--Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949

I did say something along the lines of "C makes it easy to shootyourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off."--Bjarne Stroustrup

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples ofgiants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also beensaid that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets. --Alan Cooper About Face

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.--Pablo Picasso

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong. --attributed to Norm Schryer

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sitthere.--Will Rogers

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.--Fred Brooks, Jr.

As we said in the preface to the first edition, C "wears well as one'sexperience with it grows." With a decade more experience, we still feel that way. --Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability --Edsger W.Dijkstra

I've finally learned what "upward compatible" means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes. --Dennie van Tassel(P.S: just like revision changes for hardware or new version releasefor software)

Rules of Optimization:Rule 1: Don't do it.Rule 2 (for experts only): Don't do it yet. --M.A. Jackson

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid withmillions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structuralintegrity, butjust done by brute force and thousands of slaves. --Alan Kay

Every program has (at least) two purposes: the one for which it waswritten, and another for which it wasn't.--Alan J. Perlis

Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.--Putt's Law

Copy and paste is a design error--David Parnas

Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.--Eagleson's law

The primary duty of an exception handler is to get the error out ofthe lap of the programmer and into the surprised face of the user. Provided you keep this cardinal rule in mind, you can't go far wrong.--Verity Stob

Things To DO...

Believe while others are doubting.
Plan while others are playing.
Study while others are sleeping.
Decide while others are delaying.
Prepare while others are daydreaming.
Begin while others are procrastinating.
Work while others are wishing.
Save while others are wasting.
Listen while others are talking.
Smile while others are frowning.
Commend while others are criticizing.
Persist while others are quitting.

" Winners are too busy to be sad. Too positive to be doubtful. Too optimistic to be fearful. Too determined to be defeated "