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Monday, June 27, 2011

Marriage... Hilarious :-)

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Monday, May 23, 2011

PATI AUR PATNI (Nothing intensional)..just to refersh

1. Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
... Paisa apka ... Faisla apka ...

2. " Funny but true fact !! A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband, A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! .. What do u say?

3. A Man before marriage is - Superman. After Marriage - Gentleman. 5years later - Watchman. 10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.

4. Life meine hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho... taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum... " UNMARRIED" ho.

5. Wife:1 baat bolu par mujhe maarna nahi
Hsbnd:Bolo
Wife:Mai Pregnant hu
Hsbnd:Its Gud news,dar kyo rahi thi
Wife:Shadi ke pehle papa ko bataya tha, badi maar pari thi.

6. Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....
KHUSH RAHO

7. Wife-Shadi ki raat tum ne jab mera ghunghat uthaya to kaisi lagti thi..
Husband- Mai to mar hi jata agar mujhe hanuman chalisa na yaad hoti..!!

8. Why love marriage is better dan Arranged???? B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better dan an "UNKNOWN GHOST".

9. Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho? HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.

10. A man gave an add in Matrimonial column
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying:-
" Meri Le Ja...!"
''Meri Le Ja...!''

11. Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

12. Every person is a FREEDOM FIGHTER ........
Immediately after Marriage !!
JAI HIND!!

13. Telling a lie is a
fault for a little boy,
an art for a lover,
an accomplishment for a bachelor and
a Matter of Survival for a married man.
Gud Luck!

14. Woh kahte hain ki hamari biwi swarg ki Apsara hai,
hum ne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai,
hamari to abhi Jinda hai...
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

__ Know about you__

Know about you
 
JANUARY=PIMP

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest.


FEBRUARY=THUG

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions. Resend this in 5 min. and you will talk to someone new and realize that you are a perfect match.


MARCH=GORGEOUS

Drop dead gorgeous!!! Attractive personality. Very! sexy. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed!
> >Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt!
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of NE of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.likes to keep theyre crushes kinda secret.pretty much flawless If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your new love in 8 days.


APRIL=SEXY

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye will introduce themselves and
you will realize at that you are very much alike in the next 2 days.


"MAY=LOVER

Hella sexy, loves sex n making luv, tends to be SOOOOO hott!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5 mins. someone very close to you will become mad at you in the next 8 days.


JUNE = LUST

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takesrep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly.
Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and
sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
Repost this in the next 5 mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 day


JULY=GANGSTA

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with a JUNE brithday. It is also more likely than that you have
a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you will meet someone that may possibly become one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.


AUGUST=ATTITUDE

Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. Self control. Kind hearted. Self confident. Easy to get along with and talk to. Likes talking and singing. loves music. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Loves studying. In need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "Charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. Stubborn. Beautiful physically and mentally. Curious. Independent. strong willed. A fighter. repost in 5 mins and you will meet the love of your life sometime next month.

SEPTEMBER=FINEASS PIMP

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the centre. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Makes right choices. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Does not
harm others. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt and hard to recover. Daydreamer and does fullfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do, to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will kiss the one that you been wanting...

OCTOBER=HOTTIE

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands
out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind. Repost in 5 mins & you will excel in a major ev ent coming up sometime this month.


NOVEMBER=SWEETIE

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left
brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. If
you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.


DECEMBER=BEAUTY

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, Tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited
.

__,_._,___


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Once Again .... World Cup Hamara Hai....

TEAM INDIA DID IT AGAIN..................

1983 = 2011

1983 and 2011 calenders are same.. NOW results are same too :)

Efforts may Fail, But don't Fail to make efforts..

Friday, March 25, 2011

How bad is ur temper according to your horoscope! true!!

ARIES MARCH 21 – APRIL 20 

Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologize, which makes them easier to forgive. 

TAURUS APRIL 21 – MAY 20 

You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose your cool, people don't know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal bashing. You generally get upset when you are concerned or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about mistakes you've made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.  


GEMINI MAY 21 – June 29 

You are recognised by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by your seductive charm.  


CANCER JUNE 21 – JULY 21 

Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.  


LEO JULY 22 – AUGUST 21 

If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions. You don't like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressing down can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.  


VIRGO AUGUST 22 – SEPTEMBER 21 

Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see things with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don't quite respect your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.  


LIBRA SEPTEMBER 22 – OCTOBER 22 

Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it's true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it. 

SCORPIO OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 21 

Of course you don't lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person who try to be funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.  


SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 – DECEMBER 20) 

You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You're also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you're upset with them. 

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 21 – JANUARY 19) 

Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. You can see thing with anger but will not betray your feelings. But then, there are times that even you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too. 

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18) 

You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavor to be perfect and socially correct in your behavior and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.  


PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20) 

The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others' feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn. You will yell and use harsh words and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagination is at its best when angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down, you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. SO nobody can be upset with you for too long.

Flowers - Language of Love... Feeling... and Emotions..




भय ही प्रबल है।

दो उल्लू एक वृक्ष पर आ कर बैठे। एक ने साँप अपने मुँह में पकड़ रखा था।  दूसरा एक चूहा पकड़ लाया था।  दोनों जैसे ही वृक्ष पर पास-पास आकर बैठे।...